...im getting tired

...life really is ridiculous. when we anticipate much f0r s0mething we think will make us happy and c0ntented.. when, finally it's 0n 0ur hands, 0nly then we realize that's n0t what we really wanted. it's like the feeling 0f craving f0r a delici0us f00d.. and when it's right bef0re 0ur eyes, ready t0 be eaten, 0nly then we feel it's n0t...

...i l0ve him..s0o much! i always wanted t0 be with him, i always l00k f0rward t0 the times we can be t0gether, i always wanted t0 see him, keep in t0uch and all! but, these things are the 0nes he cant give t0 me fully... ... i cant f0rce him.. all the times, i just waited f0r him t0 d0 so.. but i can say, im getting tired.. and i need to get use t0 it.. and lucky t0 say, its alright n0w..

BUT... whats happening? he's d0ing the things im n0t used t0, bef0re.. he's d0ing that perfect things i always wanted fr0m him, since fr0m the start! he's giving me MUCH of his time n0w.. he's acting far different than what he is bef0re..

sh0uldn't i be happy? he perfectly appreciates my presence n0w! he's giving me reas0ns t0 be happy again..t0 be c0ntented again.. but...huhuhu why is he d0ing this all? abruptly..

...and he t0ld me... he d0esnt want t0 l0se me.. or was that really? n0w, s0mething keeps 0n b0thering me.. the th0ught that he's n0t afraid t0 lose me, he just d0nt like s0meone t0 0wn me and t0 give me the things he cant.. he d0esnt want t0 l0se me because he just d0nt want 0thers t0 get me fr0m his numb arms.. he's d0ing th0se crazy perfect things f0r me.. just because... just n0w...just c0nditi0nally.. :( and the thing i hate t0 think the m0st,.. he's selfish!

*xah maka relate ;c*