happy! *again*

Happy! I'm again feeling happy. Yea, maybe some are wondering why I rarely experience happiness. I would say No, that's not what I mean. I'm happy for reasons I longed to explain.

Just this afternoon, I and My Prince went to church to pray for something very needed. We've been praying for the health of my mom since she was confined. But this time, we didn't attend a mass. We just prayed soulfully. You wouldn't believe that our feet led us to that Holy place of God. I believe Papa Jesus is so dear that He blessed our way to His sacrament.

The stillness of the place made our hearts ponder. We pray for Mama's fast recovery and that soon she'll be discharged. My mom is sick and tired of lying on the hospital bed and doing nothing. She always tell me that she wanna go home, eat some 'real' foods, sit down on the bamboo sofa at the terrace. Most of all, she missed our presence every time, cooking food for us, preparing what we needed for school and the tiring-yet rewarding chores of her.

Of course, I pitied her and pray so hard for her to finally get out of that solitary room. I even wish I was the one who has that disease, in that way she'll no longer suffer. Mama is quite old and she easily gets tired and weak, so I wish I'm the one lying on the hospital bed, doing nothing.

Anyways, aside from that sincere prayer, I also pray that lightness (in terms of making a decision) would soon come my way. I've been acting so mean lately. I've been having so much ravage on things that are happening. I see myself as a dreadful bitter and unloved person alive. Worst is, I've been hurting the people who are by my side at all times. I'm acting so silly and inconsiderate. And I hate it!

As I gazed upon Mama Mary's eyes, I went inside its soul and started meditating. I'm hopeful that my prayers would be granted. I trust the power of God. I believe that He'll help us and that He won't ever leave us. I cling on the wisdom that God does not sends problems He knows we can't bear. Though at some necessary moments He tries to test our faith, I know He'll be there to catch us when we fall. And just like in every tunnel, I know at end of it, God is waiting behind the light. So I trust Him so much!

When I got home from my class, my sister told me that Mama can go home tomorrow and that she won't anymore needs to undergo a lung operation. I smiled and became really happy. It's like the numbness I'm feeling seeps out and gone forever. Like, how come I became so worry-free that fast?! Papa Jesus indeed loves us so much! Mama will be with us again tomorrow and I promise to take care of her so well. Promise..

Aside from that, all my stresses shook off and gone away. The heaviness I'm carrying since January 1, lightened in relief. Yea, what a relief! I think I have now time to focus on my new year's resolutions -- give my smile at everything and don't serious life's misery, I'm too young to go through that :) Be patience and always understand. Be considerate and don't get mean at all times. Value health and family. Love and live life to the fullest!

Yea, and I think I'm so ready for that change! Watch out wise world, :)